This week is mental illness awareness week, and in honor of that, I'm writing this post to shine a light on my own mental illnesses and mental health. I've always been pretty open with my struggles with mental illnesses because I think that it's necessary in order to end the stigma surrounding these issues.
Have you ever played a game, and when you started losing you just decided to see *how bad* you could fuck it up? I came to learn that that’s basically how my brain operates when my mental health is taking a nosedive.
Have you ever played a game, and when you started losing you just decided to see *how bad* you could fuck it up? I came to learn that that’s basically how my brain operates when my mental health is taking a nosedive.
The easiest way to start is by saying, I was on a 7 month hiatus from therapy appointments from September last year until April this year. I didn’t want to rack up more bills, but in the end, it bit me in the ass. A lot happened in those 7 months that culminated into me not coping well and reverting back to bad habits. My mental health took a nosedive towards the end of last year. I was starting to fall into a pretty deep depression which in turn resulting in me taking a lot of mental health days. It didn't take long for me to burn through the PTO I had banked and start falling into LWOP. Since I was getting a bunch of LWOP, my finances took a hit. When my finances took a hit, I'd take a draw or borrow money from family in order to cover expenses. When I started running into financial trouble, my anxiety took over. It felt like an endless cycle. I would be short on rent, so I'd just say fuck it and spend every last dollar I had. It wasn't until I went back to therapy that I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, which made a lot of sense considering how things were going.
Long story short, the cycle of mania induced recklessness went on pretty much this entire year up until about month ago. My car got repossessed, my landlord filed formal eviction with the court, basically shit hit the fan. Needless to say, that was an expensive lesson...like I paid $800 more for rent just so I wouldn't get evicted, and it's going to cost me nearly $2,000 to get my car back. BUT, it also lit a fire under my ass to stay at work, even if I was bored out of my skull and to get back on my budget so I don't go through this again. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just shitty that I didn't see it until my life basically fell apart, but there's still hope.
I guess the point of this post is just to say that taking care of your mental health is SO. FUCKING. IMPORTANT! Let's quit talking about mental illness and the medications that come with it like it's taboo. Reach out to your friends and family when you start to notice different behaviors, it might help them in the long run. The stigma just needs to end.
Long story short, the cycle of mania induced recklessness went on pretty much this entire year up until about month ago. My car got repossessed, my landlord filed formal eviction with the court, basically shit hit the fan. Needless to say, that was an expensive lesson...like I paid $800 more for rent just so I wouldn't get evicted, and it's going to cost me nearly $2,000 to get my car back. BUT, it also lit a fire under my ass to stay at work, even if I was bored out of my skull and to get back on my budget so I don't go through this again. There is light at the end of the tunnel, it's just shitty that I didn't see it until my life basically fell apart, but there's still hope.
I guess the point of this post is just to say that taking care of your mental health is SO. FUCKING. IMPORTANT! Let's quit talking about mental illness and the medications that come with it like it's taboo. Reach out to your friends and family when you start to notice different behaviors, it might help them in the long run. The stigma just needs to end.
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