You're probably wondering "Verta, why did you choose this topic for your blog?" Well, twice now in the past 4 months, I've been asked (BY WOMEN) if I'm pregnant. The most recent time being this past weekend and the offender went so far to touch my belly when she asked (uggh). At least both of them followed up with "no offense!" *insert eyeroll* So, let me say it loud and clear, NO I AM NOT FUCKING PREGNANT! If I was, I sure as shit wouldn't be standing outside of the bar smoking a cigarette. If I was, I definitely would have posted about it, that shit would be exciting! If I was, I'd be shouting that shit from the rooftops.
Here's why it irks me so much though. I've always had a bit of a body image issue. When I was in my teen years, I had a boyish figure. I didn't have curves like the girls my age. No hips, no boobs, no curves whatsoever. I actually spent quite a while buying pants in the kids sections because my hips didn't fill out the pants you could buy in the juniors section thus making me look like an OompaLoompa. Shit, even into my young adult years, I still couldn't "properly" fill out a pair of adult sized jeans. I stayed pretty trim while I played roller derby, but once I started working for the local bagel shop I started putting on some weight. I'd never been happier! I felt like I was finally getting curvy. Now, a couple of years after quitting derby and moving into an office job, I've gained a little more weight. I don't have any issue with it, or at least I didn't...until I started having people ask me if I'm pregnant. Now I feel like a fat piece of shit, and it's my own fault. Yeah, I could be dieting and exercising, and I could be drinking vodka tonics instead of the carb-heavy beers and oh-so-sugary shots of Fireball. But I don't, simply because I'm perfectly okay with my body, I can finally fill out a pair of jeans, I don't have to stress about going 100 calories over my self-specified dietary limit, I don't have to live with the guilt of paying for a gym membership knowing that my anxiety probably will inhibit me from even going to work out. Those are just my personal reasons for why I fucking HATE it when people ask me if I'm pregnant...not to mention I'm single and have no sex life, and I sure as shit am not the Virgin Mary.
It's just not okay to ask a woman if she's pregnant for a myriad of reasons. Said woman could be trying desperately to get pregnant or could have recently lost a pregnancy. A woman may have body image issues, or be in recovery from an eating disorder. While none of those things are something I'm personally dealing with, it definitely made me feel like a fat piece of shit (which I know I'm not) even if it wasn't her intention. Asking a woman if she's pregnant just based on her appearance is never okay regardless of how long you've known her, how close you are, or your relationship to her. It's one of those unwritten rules that everyone knows. Also, not all women get excited with the news that one of their friends is pregnant, for some it's just another painful reminder of their own loss of pregnancy/child/inability to have children.
Anyway, thanks for reading this PSA.
Stay tuned for "Let That Shit Go".
Here's why it irks me so much though. I've always had a bit of a body image issue. When I was in my teen years, I had a boyish figure. I didn't have curves like the girls my age. No hips, no boobs, no curves whatsoever. I actually spent quite a while buying pants in the kids sections because my hips didn't fill out the pants you could buy in the juniors section thus making me look like an OompaLoompa. Shit, even into my young adult years, I still couldn't "properly" fill out a pair of adult sized jeans. I stayed pretty trim while I played roller derby, but once I started working for the local bagel shop I started putting on some weight. I'd never been happier! I felt like I was finally getting curvy. Now, a couple of years after quitting derby and moving into an office job, I've gained a little more weight. I don't have any issue with it, or at least I didn't...until I started having people ask me if I'm pregnant. Now I feel like a fat piece of shit, and it's my own fault. Yeah, I could be dieting and exercising, and I could be drinking vodka tonics instead of the carb-heavy beers and oh-so-sugary shots of Fireball. But I don't, simply because I'm perfectly okay with my body, I can finally fill out a pair of jeans, I don't have to stress about going 100 calories over my self-specified dietary limit, I don't have to live with the guilt of paying for a gym membership knowing that my anxiety probably will inhibit me from even going to work out. Those are just my personal reasons for why I fucking HATE it when people ask me if I'm pregnant...not to mention I'm single and have no sex life, and I sure as shit am not the Virgin Mary.
It's just not okay to ask a woman if she's pregnant for a myriad of reasons. Said woman could be trying desperately to get pregnant or could have recently lost a pregnancy. A woman may have body image issues, or be in recovery from an eating disorder. While none of those things are something I'm personally dealing with, it definitely made me feel like a fat piece of shit (which I know I'm not) even if it wasn't her intention. Asking a woman if she's pregnant just based on her appearance is never okay regardless of how long you've known her, how close you are, or your relationship to her. It's one of those unwritten rules that everyone knows. Also, not all women get excited with the news that one of their friends is pregnant, for some it's just another painful reminder of their own loss of pregnancy/child/inability to have children.
Anyway, thanks for reading this PSA.
Stay tuned for "Let That Shit Go".
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